missed the appointment~

stupid but funny...dengan yakinnya pegi hospital untuk appointment...kad hosp hilang tp tgk kad kalendar ade bulat tarikh tu...so dengan yakin...itu tarikh appointment la...call hospital langsung lupa nak confirmkan appointment...just tanye procedure utk appointment kalo kad hilang...hahahaha....bila datang je...hosp ckp nama xde dalam appointment kena pg o&g dulu confirmkan...but die akan issue la kad baru...so pegi la bawak kad tu masuk...masyaAllah...ramainyer org...ari rabu ari check-up utk ibu mengandung kot...ramai bebenor orangnyer...sampai nak duduk pon xde seat...so bile bg kad..die suh duduk dulu...tp berdiri je la depan tu...bukan ade kerusi kosong pon kan...huhu...then nurse panggil..

nurse: ada appointment ke hari nie?
aku: kad sy hilang, saya rase hari ni appointment nyer...tp xbrape sure..
nurse: nak buat iui ker?day ke brape hari nie?
aku: eh tak..tak..appointment doc je...
nurse: dah lepas iui ker? post treatment yer? iui lekat ke x..
aku: tak..dua2 fail...ari tu stop skejap treatment...nie baru nak check-up balik utk last treatment..
nurse 2: (baru sampai kaunter n cam muka aku)...die dah lepas iui...cek dlm buku...utk schedule seterusnya...
nurse: (tros g cek buku) then panggil aku... appointment awak semalam nie...awak sorang je xdatang...ari nie ramai orang...ade seratus lebih...awak nak tunggu ke...pukul 4 kalau dapat pon...napa xcall clinic tanye appointment?
aku: xpayah la macam tu...sorry lupa nak confirmkan...ckp pasal kad je..dah letak baru teringat...amek tarikh lain je la..
nurse: bila expected period nie...
aku: 20hb kot
nurse: date ni ade slot kosong tp doc awak pg bercuti time nie...doc lain je ada...mgu depan plak dah penuh...bulan oct boleh...
aku: xkesah bila2 pon...
nurse: ok saye masukkan awak dlm date 2 oct yer...time nie doc ade...
aku: ok...

setelah nurse tu tulis appointment kat kad...aku pon blahkan diri...sambil berpikir...ape ke bengapnyer leh terlupa tarikh appointment nie...boleh plak yakin diri dan penuh semangat waja pegi hari tu...padahal tarikh sepatotnyer aku kat umah demam selsema...baik aku g hosp je time tu...aishhh...

tapi mungkin itu terbaik kot...walau pon nak teruskan iui terakhir nie...tp aku tahu badan aku xsedia lg..plus..aku xnak bazirkan masa bila badan xnak respond pada ubat due to stress...so i have decide sumthing...just implementation die xtau la bila...harap dlam masa terdekat selepas appointment nanti...kali nie sgt nekad...have to cherish this opportunity...ivf is far from thinking right now...even it is the possible way to conceive...but as for now...i just dont have enuf money for that...it is costly indeed...

i hope i will prepared enuf for the last chance....i will...

it's hurt~

~ When insensitive comments are made, no matter how innocent the intentions, it just stings. Even when you know it's coming, it can still be hard to process. ~ practicalkatie.com

being infertile does make us sensitive..especially when other people dragged 'child' into conversation that shouldn't have any of it.