New year has come!

skejap je masa berlalu... pejam celik pejam celik pejam lagi then celik balik...huhu dah masuk tahun yang baru.. 2012 hrmpp agaknyer takdir aku akan berubah x tahun 2012 nie? Aku harap rahmat dan ihsan Allah tetap ade untuk aku...sbg bekal utk hadapi perjalanan kehidupan yg panjang nie dengan lebey tabah dan sabar..

tahun 2012 nie..kena setkan azam yang baru kan...azam jangka pendek n jangka panjang... aku harap semua yang aku inginkan akan tercapai tahun dan akan terus tercapai utk tahun2 akan datang...kalau panjang umur.. Aminnn

Hari nie ader twist plan sket...this morning hubby tanye nak balik kg x..well xpernah aku tolak la kalo ade peluang..so leh balik jumpe baby Arissa.. tapi xdapat pegimajlis cukur jambul anak Hajar..so gtau Hajar aku datang next week ngan Najwa... lgpon Najwa dah keje dekat ngan diorang...so bley la nak plan...aku je la yang sentiasa jauh...Ingat nak bawak sumthing utk kwn2 aku tuh...ape yerk??rase macam nak cuba resepi baru jek....huhuhu...

ok lah... have a happy holiday and happy new year!! Welcome 2012~

we think alike~

hubby call tanyer nak tak buat pulut kuning antar kat surau KD nie utk lepaskan niat... baru je pk nak wat pulut kuning... lama dah niat nak bg makan kat surau coz satu utk kesyukuran sbb cost pembedahan hari tuh bnyk sgt jimat...terima kasih kerajaan Malaysia sebab bagi subsidi kesihatan tu.. and satu lagi sebagai hajat utk dapat baby of coz... lama pk nak wat menu ape... dapat pon confirm menu yg mutually agreed..huhu... pulut kuning n rendang.. so esok nak cari barang2 sket... nak wat preparation...

Ahad nie nak pegi Klang plak..Hajar dah dapat baby.. cadangnyer sabtu.. .tapi diorang nie ubah tarikh plak coz Isnin cuti... hope xde la appointment keje time tuh...anak Hajar kena kuning..aku lupa plak nak tepon mak aku nak mandikan bb tuh pakai daun pe..esok je la...skang dah lewat.. Ahad nie jugak Mak Teh wat majlis berendoi utk Arissa..kat umah Wan... tp xbalik plak aku.. xpe lah.. baby Arissa, ade rezki nanti Kak Long datang jumpe kamu yerk..

2 3 ari nie sgt penat ngan karenah Muezza (my black cat) die dah x buang air dalam toilet lagi... die jumpe port baru plak... port yg bikin hati panas jek...habes carpet kena buang... xtau macam mana nak ubah balik.. bila aku denda die masuk dalam sangkar...hubby plak yg sedey lebih2.. katanya xsampai hati...mcm die plak yg duk dlm sangkar...ptt la Muezza makin nakal.. ade jek yang back-up.. hishhh... penat la gak mencuci 2 3 kali sehari... nak jek kurung je dalam toilet tp tkt plak die g masuk lubang toilet tu nak cari jalan lepaskan diri...hai Muezza tlg jgn buang air merata lg yer...kang I buang you baru tau...huhu

Endometriosis stage 3

dah dapat doc review.. Endometriosis stage 3.. the only chance to have a baby is thru IVF.. that is what they said.. but i cudnt afford it.. i choose for other alternative, IUI, but the success rate quite slim.. they will give 3x IUI in the mean time we save the money for IVF.. it's hurt.. it is.. sumtimes i think why it has to be me... but kite kena bersangka baik dgn Allah kan.. dan try to calm and not distress is the only way can ease the pain.. we really need a baby... sumtimes my thought travels far beyond my imagination.. i try not to think too much...but when i feel i'm all alone..it did appear & made me cried..i wanna talk to sumone...share my feelings...but i cant do it without crying..therefore i just kept it to myself..i cant let people see how fragile i am althou i am as fragile as crystal rite now.. Ya Allah please grant my prayers.. I wanna have a baby...

Ya Allah Ya Rabbi Ya Alah Ya Rabbi Ya Allah
Ya Allah jangan Kau coba aku
Melebihi batas mampu dan sanggupku
Ya Allah bila memang Kau coba
Aku percaya Kau sayang padaku

Ya Allah Ya Rabbi Ya Alah Ya Rabbi Ya Allah
Ya Allah lindungilah diriku
Dari yang menjahati menzhalimiku
Ya Allah Kaulah Maha Segala
Engkaulah pelindung hidup dan matiku

I wish I could change people mind~

Sometimes, I stop analyzing past, stop planning future, stop figuring out my feelings. Sometimes, i just go with "Whatever happens, happens".

I wish I could change people mind.. I wish I could be more firm when speak.. I wish I wasn't too soft spoken.. I wish I could have a courage to back-up myself.. I wish I could draw them a picture of what the truth is.. I wish they could scan my mind and hear my thought so that I don't have to say it myself.. I wish there's a room for an explanation before they straightly jump to conclusion.. I wish I could make people understand what they thought they understand.. I wish I could shut their mouth for all the lies they had said.. I wish people won't see me as a burden... I wish people don't take me for granted.. I wish... I wish..

Sometimes I wish I could run away.. far from everything...where only me and myself left.. so that I don't have to face all the complication of life.. so that I have time for myself.. so that I don't have to argue with people..so that I don't have to back-up anything.. so that I don't have to explain anything.. so that I could be myself again.. so that they won't talk rubbish to undermine my dignity.. so that they won't say bad thing about people I love.. so that I don't have to hear anything at all.. so that i don't waste my time for someone not worthy..

Am I just can wish? Can I do something to fix it? My dear Allah, please lend me the courage so that i could be strong again.. please give me your blessing so that I could be much more patient to guide myself in your righteous path..

As Fragile As Crystal

Detik waktu terus bjalan, berhias gelap & terang..suka & duka, tangis & tawa, tergores bgai lukisan..seribu mimpi berjuta sepi, hdir bgai teman sejati, distara lelahnya jiwa, dalam resah & air mata, kupersembahkan kepadaMu yg terindah dalam hidupku...

meski ku rapuh, dalam langkah..kdg xsetia kepdaMu, namun cinta dlm jiwa hnyalah padaMu...maafkanlah bila hati x sempurna mencintaiMu..dalam dadaku hanya diriMu yg bertakhta...

detik waktu terus berlalu, semua berakhir padaMu.....

aku rase diri aku rapuh sgt skang nie...serapuh dedaun kering yang rebah ke bumi setelah lelah ditiup sang bayu...Ya Allah...berilah hambaMu ini kekuatan..pinjamkanlah walau sebentar cuma agar aku terus bertabah mengharungi segalanya.......

Like a bird with 1 wing ~~

Kadang2 hidup xselalunya seperti yang kita rencanakan...kite akan diuji dengan pelbagai ujian..utk test tahap keimanan kite kepada Allah yang satu...Bagaimana kite menghadapinya dan apa pengajaran disebaliknya hanya kite yang tahu..walaupon kadang2 orang xmemahami..atau xnak memahami..kite mesti tetapkan hati dan terus tabah..biarlah ape orang kata..apa yang org interpret keadaan kite..Kita harus yakin..Allah itu Tuhan yang Maha Adil, Maha Mengasihani..Die xkan beri ujian kepada hambaNya lebey dari ape yang kite sanggup hadapi..bersangka baik terhadap Allah adalah jalan yang terbaik...sesungguhnya hanya Dia yang akan memberi pertolongan...Ya Allah, aku mengharap belas ihsan Mu..tatkala aku sendiri menghadapi dugaan dariMu..Ameen~

peek-a-boo

Salam...

This blog is a place where I want to share every single wonderful moments that happens in my life..either happy or less-happy ones    v(^_^)v  

Just a brief bout me..

I'm a devoted wife to a loving and caring husband Mohd Ubaidullah!
I love cooking & baking!

Have a great pleasure reading my blogs!