I wish I could change people mind~

Sometimes, I stop analyzing past, stop planning future, stop figuring out my feelings. Sometimes, i just go with "Whatever happens, happens".

I wish I could change people mind.. I wish I could be more firm when speak.. I wish I wasn't too soft spoken.. I wish I could have a courage to back-up myself.. I wish I could draw them a picture of what the truth is.. I wish they could scan my mind and hear my thought so that I don't have to say it myself.. I wish there's a room for an explanation before they straightly jump to conclusion.. I wish I could make people understand what they thought they understand.. I wish I could shut their mouth for all the lies they had said.. I wish people won't see me as a burden... I wish people don't take me for granted.. I wish... I wish..

Sometimes I wish I could run away.. far from everything...where only me and myself left.. so that I don't have to face all the complication of life.. so that I have time for myself.. so that I don't have to argue with people..so that I don't have to back-up anything.. so that I don't have to explain anything.. so that I could be myself again.. so that they won't talk rubbish to undermine my dignity.. so that they won't say bad thing about people I love.. so that I don't have to hear anything at all.. so that i don't waste my time for someone not worthy..

Am I just can wish? Can I do something to fix it? My dear Allah, please lend me the courage so that i could be strong again.. please give me your blessing so that I could be much more patient to guide myself in your righteous path..